| (no subject) |
[Jan. 1st, 2009|02:14 pm] |
2008 Year in Review
One year ago, I posted the following list of goals:
1) Climb a 5.12
2) Produce two publishable papers
3) Run a 5k
4) Perform at the open mic at the Comedy Connection
5) Finish my dissertation research
6) Write and shoot at least two short films
7) Get an erection without killing a hobo
Here's how I did:
1) Not only did I not climb a 5.12, but I stopped climbing altogether. No time.
2) I got one paper published and have one more on the way, so I'm comfortable with where I am here.
3) Does 'k' stand for feet? Unless it does, I got nothing.
4) I didn't do this one, but it's not my fault. The Comedy Connection shut down in the middle of the year, so it wasn't an option. I have done many open mics, and I performed at Improv Boston. I'm also scheduled to perform at The Comedy Studio and The Gas at Great Scott in February.
5) Haven't started the research, although I have made some limited progress here. I have approval from the ethics review board and I plan to start interviewing people soon.
6) Got one, so I'm happy. I do have another one written and a few idea, so if anyone wants to make a short film, let me know.
7) Some minimal progress here. I've found that brutally sodomizing a hobo with the leg from a futon does the trick. I'm not sure why, but only futons from Mattress Giant do the trick.
Overall, I feel ok about where I am. The baby's doing well. My only real regret is that I haven't spent enough time on my dissertation. I've been teaching so much that I just can't find time to make anywhere near enough progress. That needs to change this year. I'm kind of sick of hearing "You're still in grad school!?"
Here are my new goals for 2009:
1) Build a home climbing wall.
2) Run a 5k.
3) Finish my dissertation research and start drafting.
4) At minimum, average one comedy show a week for the entire year.
5) Develop a solid 15-20 minute act. I'm probably about a third of the way there at this point.
6) Start my own open mic.
7) Play with Sid for at least one solid hour a day.
8) Start being more positive. I'm not sure if people are aware of this, but my thought processes are usually pretty negative. I think I hide it well, but who knows. Anyway, I'm going to try to change this.
9) Switch from using futon legs to wicker dildos on the hobos. It's tough to 'reuse' a hobo after an anal savaging from six inches of futon support, and I imaging wicker would be a bit gentler. Also, I've always been turned on by wicker. I can't drive past a Pier One Imports without feeling a slight tingling in my genital region. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 23rd, 2008|12:01 am] |
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I'm pulling for Rays. What about you guys? |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 7th, 2008|10:59 pm] |
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I need to revise the previous post where I described an anal encounter as an 'anal penetration situation,' or APS. It will now be referred to as an 'anal sex situation,' or ASS. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 5th, 2008|01:28 pm] |
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I've been doing a bunch of open mics lately, and the more material I write, the more I realize that a ton of my jokes revolve around sperm. It's a little disturbing and gross, and I spend time wondering what that might mean about me. After my last show, a guy came up to me and said that he thought all the sperm references probably mean that I'm gay. I know that's not true, though. It's not that I have a problem with gay people; it's just that I know I can't be gay. How do I know, you ask? Well, it's mainly that I don't have a very supple anus, which I imagine is a requirement to be gay. Also, I tend to clench when I'm nervous or excited, and I think that could cause some problems. For example, imagine I'm in and anal penetration situation (or 'APS' as I like to call them) and an alarm goes off or a squirrel runs by. I'd probably jump and then clench down real hard. That's an emergency room trip no one wants to make. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 15th, 2008|08:30 pm] |
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Can anybody suggest any reputable, inexpensive computer hardware retailers? I'm thinking about picking up some RAM and a video card. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 4th, 2008|08:53 pm] |
I think people are generally pretty stupid.
And by 'people,' I mean 'MBTA employees.'
And by 'are generally pretty stupid,' I mean 'deserve to be stabbed in the face.'
In front of their children and/or mothers.
I'm just kidding.
MBTA employees aren't people.
They're subhumans.
That's why we keep them underground. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 25th, 2008|12:00 pm] |
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When do you think a mother should stop breastfeeding her child? I only ask because it's become a huge hassle for me to get all the way to my Mom's work whenever I get hungry. |
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